Burrillville residents push back against out-of-town anti-trans bigotry
"These guidelines from RIDE are important," said Burrillville resident Betsy Alper. "This is the most vulnerable population and I appreciate what the school does to support all their students."
During public testimony on Tuesday, the Burrillville School Committee, like many school committees across Rhode Island, heard from anti-trans religious extremists demanding that the town repeal its Transgender, Gender-Diverse, and Transitioning Student policy, which is based on the Rhode Island Department of Education [RIDE] policy. [You can see the meeting agenda here and watch the video here.] The policy, which is now around seven years old, has successfully helped students across the state to be affirmed in their sexual identity and helped to protect children from discrimination. Thus far, there are no reports of any harm caused by the policy.
As has happened in many municipalities,1 parents, teachers, and residents of the town and some out-of-town allies spoke in favor of the policy, and against those who came to Burrillville to change the policy and make the school less safe for children. The first speaker was Westerly resident Robert Chiaradio, and the last to speak was Woonsocket resident Melissa Bubble. For the gist of what they said see here, where they presented similar commentary. Here’s their testimony, edited for clarity:
The first Burrillville resident to speak was Lewis Pryeor, who is running as a Democrat against Republican State Senator Jessica de la Cruz2 in District 23 (Burrillville and Glocester.)
Lewis Pryeor: I live in Chepachet, Rhode Island. I grew up in Providence but spent weekends in Chepachet with my family. I'm 67 right now, [but], at the age of 18 one day my father was taking me to Rhode Island College, sharing the same car, and he said, “Lew, are you gay?” And I said, “Yes.” He said, “It doesn't matter, I love you.”
So when I hear talk of hate, it makes me have a lot of flashbacks to growing up being gay when it wasn't accepted at all. I remember a friend of mine. His father owned a restaurant on Route 44 and [my friend] hung himself in front of his mother. I remember his mother always saying she hated him because he was gay.
My other friends growing up back in Chepachet and Ponagansett, friends all hanging around, a lot of them accepted me. A couple didn't but there were a lot of other kids suffering [because] they weren't happy [about who] they were. I know a few of them drank themselves to death. [When] you talk about people hating today, I think it was worse when I was growing up. We had to hide. At the first Gay Pride Parade, back in the seventies, I remember running from one bar to the other because stuff was getting thrown at us [because we were] proud of who we were.
I've been with my husband now for 43 years, and it’s going to be 44 years in November. We had taken in a couple of kids in the past. They have families of their own and we now have what we call our grandchildren. Our grandson comes down to see us every week. Our granddaughters, they're 16 so they're a little more difficult now. They were easy when they were one or two years old.
Now I see a new generation. I get a little confused. My great-nephew, he is now Serena and he wants to be a girl, and like I tell my niece, I say, “Your son's happy. He's in his twenties. Let him live his own life. Let him be happy rather than feeling sad.” Another family member of mine is also transitioning from a guy to a girl and he's doing fantastic. I've seen a lot of girls transitioning. One of my friends who rented an apartment from me, his best buddy was Tommy, and I'm talking to Tommy and I didn't know [he] was a girl originally, but Tommy is doing fantastic.
I think we should help these kids by letting them be themselves. Let's not hide the problem because that just makes them hide it in their soul, brain, and mind - and it will cause confusion - more than anybody could believe. We all should just let the kids be themselves and enjoy their lives. We don't know what's going to happen the next day. And parents, I hope they accept their kids as they are and not think their kids are wrong. Their parents [should] just love them.
Richmond resident Chis Kona: It's important to understand that kids behaving in gender-non-conforming ways isn't a black-or-white thing. As students grow up, they start to learn about what their strengths are. They learn about who they are, what kind of person they want to be, and what kind of skills they can use when they grow up.
They want to learn what kind of skills they can use when they grow up. Creating boxes around them based on gender will create artificial limits on them. As a boy growing up, certain things were biased as girls' activities. Opening up what activities boys have to conform to drastically improves the kinds of things that they can learn about. Cooking is essential for everyone to know. Everyone needs to eat and they want to eat things that they like to eat. I'm lucky I got one class on sewing in middle school because when I was in the Navy and I finally earned my dolphins underway in the middle of the ocean, it meant that I knew how to sew them on my coveralls. Boys should feel comfortable trying out for the school play or being interested in the profession of childcare.
Some of the most influential teachers in my life have been men. These are activities that are non-gender conforming at one level or another. I've seen boys discouraged from them because they were boys.
Some activities are non-gender conforming for girls. Anytime a girl wants to learn how to change her oil or make repairs around the house, these are perceived as less girly. Wearing jeans and sweatshirts to do farm chores before and after school and they're constantly working with their hands. We live in a town where the girls come work on the farms and they have to dress appropriately for the work they have to do in the fields and then in the garages. Of course, they're going to wear jeans and hoodies to school. In our school district, one of the recent girls graduated and moved directly into a welding job. It's a great, well-paying job that will serve her well and has good income potential, but it's not gender-conforming.
Limiting schools in one area creates a license to limit them in another. If you tell a kid they're not enough of a boy or girl in one area, they'll perceive it in other kids, and other adults will see this as a license to bully them for not being enough of a boy or a girl. It isn't just trans kids that will be constricted. It's any boy who wants to try cooking a new dish or any girl who wants to hit the gym or is interested in having more or learning about repairing the lawnmower.
Each student is different. Different things resonate with them and there are different things they're better at. We owe it to them to give them the room to understand that. That's the core of Rhode Island's gender-non-conforming policies - creating a dialogue between the student, school, and family about what's best for the student and what works within the school. Creating rigid boundaries about what they can and can't do limits their freedom to succeed.
Burrillville resident Courtney Lacey: I'm a coach here. I coach the girls' high school hockey team. I've been a coach at this school for 18 years. I'm very proud to say that in those 18 years, I've coached a lot of girls' softball and girls' hockey, and before that, I coached girls in the rec league.
These kids don't have any issues with trans youth. We talk about it. The school has policies and as a coach, I have rules and policies, and those rules are not to make them better hockey players. It's to make them a better person and to treat people the way that they want to be treated. If I do that as a coach, if they leave here and that's what they get from me, then I did my job as a coach. I know that this school is going to do what it takes to protect all kids.
Reverend Darin Collins: I'm a resident here in Burrillville. I've had two boys graduate from Burrillville High School. My daughter is a freshman here this year and I've also been the pastor of Berean Baptist Church here in Burrillville for 20 years. What I want to share with you is how deeply and richly my life has been impacted by trans and non-binary people.
One of my mentors in ministry, who helped me rediscover my faith when I'd lost it, created the opportunity for me to discern my call to ministry, and has been a wonderful guide through all of these years, is a member of the trans community. I have many colleagues across the state and New England who I've worked with on various projects for the enrichment not only of their faith communities but the wider communities in which they live, the wider Rhode Island community. And yes, they too are trans and non-binary folks. I have family members. I have a nephew who I'm so proud of, a beautiful singing voice that brings people hope and joy, and yes, he's trans too.
There are so many members of my life who have taught me about what it means not only to be a better pastor but to be a better father and a better husband. I would not be the same person I am today without their influence. There's no danger. It's only sad when we refuse the gift that our trans and non-binary neighbors are to us. We're only refusing to receive what they have to give us, that would make us all better and make our community much better. Berean Baptist Church, its friends, and its members are proud of this policy. We're proud that the Burrillville School System creates a safe space for all students. We hope you continue to do that and to grow into that and we pledge our support to you in any way that we can moving forward.
Betsy Alper: I live here in Burrillville. I've been here for 25 years. I'm a social worker. I have two young adult sons who did not go through the school system. [because] my husband's a teacher in another system, so they went with him. One of their best friends through school was a young man who was over our house quite a bit and I could tell he had a lot of trouble. I wasn't sure what it was but I could tell he was anxious, he was unhappy and when he was in high school, he had a suicide attempt. Thankfully, just an attempt. Fast forward to last year at my son's graduation party, this now young woman came and the change in her mental health was so great to see. She and my guys had the same connection and she was happy - and I hadn't seen that in her through the years. These guidelines from RIDE are important. This is the most vulnerable population and I appreciate what the school does to support all their students.
Jojo Clark: My given name is John Clark. I reside in Woonsocket. I prefer to be as dressed as Jojo, they/them pronouns. I'm here tonight to voice my support and encourage this board to follow RIDE's guidelines for transgender and gender-diverse students in your school system. At heart, it simply extends the protection and safety set for all students. It mirrors our society's endeavors to fight discrimination, prejudice, and bigotry. I can think of no better place to start.
I am 59 years of age. I conduct my life according to my experience, heart, and reasoning. It is by these tenents that I choose to stand before you and testify. I am trans. I am not evil nor do I belong to a cult. My transition has resulted in a much richer life, mentally, creatively, and socially.
Some here would care for you to start a witch hunt where there are no witches to be found. Though I do not know them well enough to speak of them as void of heart, I can hear misdirected fear, condemnation, and persecution aimed at the innocent, which this board is charged with the protection and safety of. And for what reason are they being targeted? For their right of self-expression.
Your due diligence is civically important here. I was raised in the post-segregated South and know quite well how bigotry is preserved and how dehumanization, exaggerations, and ignorance are reinforced by separation so that experience may never unseat the narrative. This fire is being fanned for the preservation of customs, not for the care of students today and those to come.
The smoke of conspiracies and interpreted statistics you will likely hear tonight are too vast for me to address one by one. They can only be cleared by reasoning and vetted research which the state has diligently and consciously done with the RIDE Guidelines, additionally adhering to Title IX of the United States Education Amendment.
No good path forward in the history of time has ever been resolved by discrimination and isolation. I am hopeful that you choose to acknowledge the rights, protection, and existence of all students, that you support expression, teach the existing diversity of our world uncensored, and allow teachers their trained profession without being forced to become adjunct police for parents.
By following RIDE's guidelines for trans and gender-diverse students, you will lay the groundwork for healthier students in how they see themselves and treat their peers, remain within the law of this land, and perhaps encourage a more empathetic and understanding society for the future. It's your clarity and mission with heart, not fear I am here to call upon.
For example:
Residents defend sound and proven trans and gender-diverse student policies in North Providence
Newporters reject hate and book banning at School Committee meeting
Lincoln folks push back against anti-trans bigotry at school committee meeting
West Warwick joins a long list of communities rejecting anti-trans hate
Wonderful to hear the support for all kids and for the RIDE guidelines. Some precious testimony here and some cool language from the last speaker here.