Hate and Love: Westerly School Committee takes up Transgender student policy

"As with any of my grandchildren, I accept her and love her for who she is without conditions."

I start here, at a place of hate and bigotry, but I promise to end on a better note. Not a more hopeful one - that will be up to the people of Westerly - but a more positive, loving, and affirming note, at least.

The final public speaker at the Westerly School Committee hearing on Wednesday night spoke against the district's Transgender, Gender Nonconforming & Transitioning Students protocol. In his religious-fueled passion, Robert Chiaradio denied the very existence of transgender people and invoked the name of Jesus to discriminate against them.

“A boy, no matter how much he wants to be a girl, thinks he's a girl, dresses like a girl, or acts like a girl, will never be a girl, never,” said Chiaradio. “99% of students who are not confused about their sex cannot be discriminated against to accommodate the 1% who are. All students deserve safety, comfort, and privacy. All students. However, it is neither customary nor lawful to accommodate 1% while putting the other 99% in a dangerous or uncomfortable position.

“Once you rescind this policy, as I said, you'll be sued. But what you'll also be doing is what our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ wants you to do and that is protect all of these kids.”

You can watch every minute of the School Committee meeting here:

After a presentation from Attorney Mary Ann Carroll explaining that the district's Transgender, Gender Nonconforming & Transitioning Students protocol conforms to state and federal law as mandated by the Rhode Island Department of Education (RIDE), and has worked without incident since 2017, School Committee member Lori Wycall went on the attack with a fear-mongering hypothetical.

“I have a 15-year-old daughter in the high school and to think that an 18-year-old male could walk into her bathroom,” said Committee member Wycall, “If he walked into the bathroom, she would have no protection. To me, that's completely wrong.”

It's hard to imagine a person about to commit the crime of sexual assault being deterred by a rule that bars them from entering certain rooms, but fear-mongering hypotheticals seldom make real-life sense.

“My main issue with this protocol is keeping the secret from the parents,” explained Committee member Wycall, continuing her fear-mongering. “I think it's completely wrong. We can't even give a student an Advil or a Tylenol for crying out loud. And you're going to have people who are not qualified to deal with these kinds of difficult issues hiding an identity from the student's parents.”

“The concern is there are children that are transgender that may be scared to death to tell their parent,” explained Attorney Carroll. “We cannot automatically pick up the phone and call the parents. But all of the counseling we do, all of the work we do with the children is to encourage them to tell the parent, the same way, let's say for example, a child goes to their guidance counselor and says, ‘I'm pregnant, don't tell my mother.’ We can't pick up the phone and tell the mother. But we can encourage them and work with them and explain to them why they should tell their mother.”

Committee member Wycall was not convinced. “But in the meantime, hide it. Let them come to school and change their clothes, put makeup on, or do whatever they want to do with this identity, and then send them home to ‘an unsafe environment?’”

Committee member Wycall then went on to say that the School Committee should reject the policy and let RIDE punish them. She was in favor of going to court in opposition to the policy.

“I can't imagine that anybody sitting up here thinks a boy should be in the girls' room or that some guidance counselor in the high school should be hiding the fact that the student is so distraught that they're changing their identity and wants to hide it from their family,” said Wycall. “This should not be hidden from their parents and this should not be going on... What [is RIDE] really going to do if we say we don't want to accept this, we want to make our own [policy]? I feel very strongly about it.”

Committee member Wycall's hostility towards the policy seemed an outlier on the committee, but only a few members seemed willing to offer their unqualified support for a statewide policy based on best medical and educational practices to enhance student rights and health outcomes.

Committee member Diane Chiaradio Bowdy spoke of her initial discomfort with the policy when it was first adopted statewide in 2017, but said that over time, as she asked questions and saw the policy working, she came to accept it as a best practice.

“We absolutely want to accommodate everyone,” said Committee member Bowdy. “Transgender kids are going through a rough time and I'm thrilled that the schools can support these kids. But to your point [about] the other 99% [cisgender children]. Over the years, the questions I've asked have reassured me that those kids are taken care of too. If there was a cisgender child who had an issue with it, they would be accommodated as well. That was the thing I was most concerned about, making sure that everyone is considered and it's been clear that it has been.”

School Committee Chair Robert Cillino expressed concerns about parents not being immediately notified if a student wished to identify as a gender different than that assigned at birth. “I see Ms. Wycall's point on that and about keeping the parents in the loop. [It's] something that I have an issue with. Just because the child feels like their parents are not going to be supportive does not mean that their parents are going to be unsupportive and it might be that the help they need is from their parents.”

Chair Cillino also had an issue with the policy being adopted statewide. “I feel this is just another thing that just takes away the power of the school committee.”

Attorney Carroll pointed out that the use of the policy is very infrequent. She suggested that maybe one percent of the student body identifies as transgender, gender nonconforming, or transitioning, and most of them do so with the complete support of their parents.

This did not assure Committee member Wycall.

“I don't know what news outlets people are watching or not watching. This is happening,” said Committee member Wycall. “People are being assaulted in restrooms. 11-year-olds are being forced to share bedrooms on overnight trips with people of the opposite sex. This is not about safety for every kid. This is handpicking and changing laws and wording for this 1% of the population. I don't think that we should do it this way...

“The way the policy reads, any child could walk in tomorrow and say, "‘I'm going to use the girls' room.’ And you want to know what? When some of the kids we have in our school watch this meeting tonight, I bet you're going to have a problem with this now.

“We need to eliminate - we need to stand up. We need to stand up and say the protocols are wrong. If we're going to protect all of the kids in our school and if we're going to do the right thing by the parents and for the kids, every kid, we need to stand up and create our own policy and see what happens. Let's see what RIDE does because you know what? It sounds like they're blowing a bunch of smoke and they haven't done anything to anyone. [RIDE Commissioner Angelica Infante-Green] reviewed what, five policies of districts in three years? We know she's not doing a good job. Let her take her time getting down here to review our stuff and let's do the right thing.”

For the record, School Superintendent Mark Garceau denied the fiction that a male student could walk in tomorrow and say, “I'm going to use the girls' room.” The policy does not allow that.

As ugly as the School Committee discussion was, public comment was worse. Aside from the man quoted at the beginning of the piece, half a dozen more added their opposition. One of the speakers was Michelle Cretella, former executive director of the American College of Pediatrics (ACPed), identified by the Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC) as "a fringe anti-LGBT hate group that masquerades as a premier United States association of pediatricians to push LGBT junk science…”

According to Mother Jones, Cretella left ACPed in 2021, a few years before a massive data leak revealed just how extreme and influential the group was.

Cretella’s comments were mostly in line with the pseudoscience and fear-mongering traditionally brokered by ACPed.

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Public comment is also where three Westerly residents stood up and spoke eloquently in defense of the policy, and this is the note I wish to end this piece on.

Madeline Labriola is a grandmother to a 16-year-old transgender girl whom she accepts and loves “for who she is without conditions.”

"The current disputes regarding transgender rights are taking place at a moment of enormous cultural, social, and political change for transgender people. Without a thorough understanding of gender, gender identity, gender expression, and gender diversity, we must acknowledge the fact that this subject is highly controversial and volatile. As we see tonight, it is something that divides families, neighborhoods, governments, and even the judiciary. Therefore, we must take the time to listen carefully and respectfully to each other, even to those with whom we vehemently disagree. We must study the research, ask those affected by these laws, and weigh all sides of the issues.

“With that in mind, I think the current protocol should be continued. It has been in place since 2016 without incident, as far as I know. Doing some research on this topic has helped me to understand the unique needs of the transgender student. There are a multitude of mental health problems, life-threatening ones, with which transgender individuals struggle. Approximately 41% of transgender individuals have attempted suicide at one point in their lives. By blocking access to correct bathrooms and locker rooms, fear, stigma, discrimination, and mental health issues are exacerbated. The bathroom and locker room debate serves as a constant reminder to them that even their most basic bodily functions are being devalued and discriminated against.

“In many schools, there are neutral gender bathrooms which are available to all students, and for many reasons besides gender identity. This gives all students a choice, but if a student must use a group facility, a transgender person should feel safe and free from discrimination to do so. For those who are under the impression that the transgender person is a threat to other students, data shows that more harm is done to the transgender person entering a toilet...

“Can you imagine a student presenting as a female having to use the men's facility? Bullying, teasing, and even physical violence against that student is all too common. It's the responsibility of the school to provide a safe and welcoming environment in which all students can learn regardless of their gender identity, race, religion, or socioeconomic status. When we deny our children these basic protections, we are failing them in ways that may threaten their lives and certainly their futures.

“As a grandmother of a transgender grandchild, I'm going to speak from my heart. I watched my granddaughter from a very young age present as a girl, although she was born with male genitalia. At 15 she's transitioning and attends a high school in Connecticut where she's accepted as a girl and is an active participant in school life. There are non-gender-specific bathrooms and private spaces available for all students if they choose to use them.

“It hasn't been an easy road for her or her family, but we are loving and supportive of her and especially protective of her human right not to be discriminated against in any way. As with any of my grandchildren, I accept her and love her for who she is without conditions. Even Pope Francis has spoken to this issue and declared that LGBTQ+ people are still God's children. We have a long way to go in our country in accepting those who do not fit the norm and in making accommodations for them. It will take time to convince many people that LGBTQ plus rights must be protected. In the meantime, it is up to school officials to uphold the non-discrimination laws of our country and ensure the protection and safety of each side.”

Westerly resident Anne Pearce also spoke in favor of the policy.

“I'm in support of the school policy on Transgender, Gender Nonconforming, and Transitioning students. The policy meets every best practice recommended not only by Rhode Island's Department of Education, educators, physicians, nurses, advocates for youth, and their students, but also meets state, federal, and constitutional laws. Some insist that the protocol should be aligned with their beliefs on parental rights, but their rhetoric is an attempt to shape policy based on their beliefs about sex, gender, and family.

“The protocol does not aim to exclude parents but expressly states that the desire is for parents to be kept informed about their children. But if the administration determines that notifying the family carries risks, it should be worked closely with the student and the family will be involved in the process. Some insist parents know their children better than anyone else, but it is also true that children know their parents better than anyone else.

“And if a child is not yet comfortable coming out to a parent or feels unsafe, why should we force them? Here are some unsettling statistics and insights from Dr. Will Giordano-Perez. He's a physician and chief medical Officer at Tri-County Community Action Center. He's an assistant clinical professor at Brown Medical School and an expert in the field of LGBTQ issues.

[Note you can see Dr. Giordano-Perez speaking about the Transgender, Gender Nonconforming & Transitioning Students policy in Smithfield last year here:

I'm pretty sure Pearce's quotes come from my article here.

‘I’ve cared for children here in Rhode Island who’ve been kicked out of their homes because of how they identify. In fact, 40% of our homeless youth in Rhode Island identify as LGBTQ, despite making up only 7% of the population in Rhode Island. I’ve cared for children who’ve been harassed, beaten, and verbally and emotionally tormented by those closest to them all because of how they identify.

‘Nine out of ten LGBTQ youth have experienced harassment or discrimination just within the past year. Those who experience discrimination and harassment are much more likely to miss school and or drop out compared to those who do not. More than one in three LGBTQ youth reported that they have been physically threatened or harmed due to their identity – within the last year. I’ve also cared for children whose families and identities have unfortunately left them to feel quite alone in the world – in a world in which we do not honor their privacy and their rights the same way we honor those of others who are in the majority.

‘92% of LGBTQ youth stated that they hear negative messages about what it means to be LGBTQ. And worst of all, in my seven years practicing as a primary care physician in Rhode Island, I’ve cared for children who unfortunately decided that it was better to end their lives than to continue living. 40% of LGBTQ youth make that same decision to end their lives compared to just 12% of the general population. All of this to say that our identities are deeply, deeply personal, they need to be honored and they need to be respected.

‘These statistics demonstrate the severity of discrimination and harassment that LGBTQ youth face in schools, in their homes, in their communities, in their daily lives. They also highlight the urgent need for creating safe and affirming environments for LGBTQ students, [and] I know this school district is capable of [this] and has proven they’ve done in the past.

‘As a physician expert in the field, I would be remiss to not emphasize the importance of creating safe spaces for LGBTQ students and the dangers of outing these students to their parents without their consent. It is important to note that outing a student to their parents can put the student in danger and cause serious harm. It’s crucial to provide privacy and confidentiality for our LGBTQ students. This means ensuring that students’ gender identities and sexual orientations are kept confidential and that they are not forced to disclose this information unless they choose to do so.

‘If a student is outed without consent, it can put them at risk of physical, emotional, and psychological harm, including rejection, abuse, and even homelessness. Thank you for allowing me to come tonight and share a few of these thoughts. It means a great deal to me and I hope it will be helpful in putting together whatever your final recommendations are for your school district policy. Together we can do better and we can all do better when we feel we are safe and supported.’

After reading the preceding, Westerly resident Ann Pierce continued:

“These statistics demonstrate the severity of discrimination and harassment LGBTQ youth face in our schools, in their homes, in their communities, and in their daily lives. If they do not move you to use your heart as a guide to the urgent need to create safe and affirming environments for our children and to use your head - because the changes being discussed for the protocol are not legal in most courts - they will be declared unconstitutional because, among many other reasons, they constitute sex discrimination, transgender discrimination, and intentionally target LGBTQ citizens for disparate treatment in violation of the Equal Protection Clause of the United States Constitution, the First Amendment of the United States Constitution, the due process clause of the United States Constitution, Title VIII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, and Title IX of the Education Amendments of 1972.

“Transgender students' rights is an emerging and complex area of law. Educational institutions need to be smart to ensure they are complying with their legal obligations by keeping and developing effective policies that treat transgender students with dignity and respect. All of this is to say that our identities are deeply, deeply personal. They need to be honored and they need to be respected. Many of our children have families and identities that have left them to feel quite alone in the world, a world in which we do not honor their privacy and their rights the same way we do others who are in the majority.”

The third person to speak in favor of the policy was Westerly resident Diane Goldsmith.

“We've been talking now for, I don't know, well over an hour and I've yet to hear a problem. I've heard this could happen. I've heard it might be in Virginia. I've yet to hear that there is a problem in Westerly and that this policy is not working. I'd be very happy to hear - I mean I wouldn't be happy to hear that - but I think if we're going to spend this much time on a non-existent problem, at least I'd like to know there's a problem.

“My second point is, and I don't actually know how to say this, but the bathroom argument. I'm old enough to remember the Equal Rights Amendment, Phyllis Schlafly, women in the military, and unisex bathrooms. That's why we can't have the ERA. We have women in the military, we have unisex bathrooms. We don't have an Equal Rights Amendment. I'm a lesbian. I cannot tell you how many times I've heard the discussion about how gay people shouldn't be in the same restrooms as straight people because we're dangerous. That's same-sex people in same-sex bathrooms. Now I'm hearing fictitious boys that pretend they're girls that come into bathrooms and assault girls. I mean, obviously, they're not transgender because they're not identifying as a woman, but if they're pretending to, well that's a problem, but that's not the problem of the transgender community.

“It seems to me there are lots of issues that the school board has to deal with. If this is a real issue, then I would like to hear an actual problem that people have seen in the schools and that this policy is not working. I think the policy is quite respectful of every student in Westerly Schools and I strongly support keeping it the way it is and moving on to some of the issues that are real problems affecting the education of our students.”